Day 10 - Someone You Need To Let Go Or Wish You Didn't Know

I wish I didn't know Mean Meat Cutter Mike. He swears too much. So does the rest of the meat department but if something upsets him (and there's ALWAYS something upsetting him) he goes on these long rants of just swears. I'm not saying I have the cleanest language out there, but really, there's a point when it gets to be just WAY too much.

And he also thinks that age equals maturity. So if you're younger than him... and I'm pretty sure I'm close to 30 years younger than him... and you tell him he swears too much, he's going to go on a self righteous rampage about how someone "your age" has no business talking to him about etiquette. Needless to say, I know this for a fact, because it happened. And then, the next time I worked on the same day as me - you're going to love this - he suddenly had to go home early. He was working 10-7 and I was working 12-9. I showed up at 12 and he was limping really bad and had to go home. I, by this point, had forgotten all about our little 'spat' and was genuinely concerned that he was in pain. After he left, I was told by everyone that he was perfectly fine until I showed up. HE LEFT WORK BECAUSE I WAS THERE AND HE THINKS SOMEONE MY AGE IS LESS MATURE THAN HIM?! Like really... come on now, grow up.

And he's ALWAYS angry. There's a reason we call him Mean Meat Cutter Mike. He gets angry if there's music playing (and there's always music over the intercom), he gets angry if you whistle or hum or sing, he gets angry if you're in his way or if a customer talks to him or if the hose isn't wrapped properly on it's hook... And I completely forgot what I was saying... oh well. Wish I didn't know him.

Goodnight.

Day 9 - Someone You Didn't Want To Let Go, But Just Drifted

Jamie Nicholson. She was my best friend in the whole world and moved away in like Grade 3. We kept in touch, visiting every summer when she'd come back to visit her dad. But she lived far away... and I wasn't a big phone person. And now she's out in Ottawa or something and she came back for a visit... we kept saying we should get together... but we just... didn't. It's not that it wouldn't have been manageable... we could have made it work. We're both very different people than we were in Grade 3. But still... I miss her.

Day 8 - Someone Who Made Your Life Hell or Treated You Like Shit

Oops. I forgot to do this yesterday. So here it is.

Me.

There were a lot of people who treated me bad in school... namely EVERYONE in my class. School sucked. And I'm SO not even going to go into details about that. I, however, treated myself worse than they ever did. I let myself believe that they were right. That I was a loser, a loner, not worth the effort. I let myself believe that my family didn't love me (even though my mind always knew they did, my heart didn't) and that I didn't matter. All of the worst memories I have are times when I didn't believe in myself, when I didn't defend myself against those other mean people. It was like I expected someone else to do it for me. People won't respect you if you don't respect yourself. A lesson well learned.

So yeah... I'm glad I'm not so mean to myself anymore. I hated me. Now I love me. Yay me!

Day 7 - Someone Who Has Made Your Life Worth Living

Easy. Devon. Mom. Dad. Any of my brothers and sisters. Each of them in their own way but all still vitally important. And most importantly... me. If I wasn't around, then my life wouldn't be worth living because it wouldn't be my life. So... yeah. That's about it for this one.

The Multitasker

I'm a multi-tasker. Which apparently isn't a word. Damn you, little red squiggle line. But this post isn't about my multitasking. (Which IS a word. No little red squiggle there.) This post itself is the multitask. Many things in one post... because I don't feel like making separate posts for them.

Reason #1 for this post:
I would like to thank everyone who has been reading and commenting on my posts. This 30 Days of Truth thing has been difficult for me and I'm glad to find that the people I'm close to don't hate me for some of the things I've been saying. I have to say that that was a definite fear of mine. So thank you for taking the time to offer encouraging and non-condemning words to me. I appreciate it.

Reason #2 for this post:
I just want to say how PROUD I am of myself for doing the 30 Days of Truth. I have always tried to be honest with myself but putting that honesty out there for other people to see isn't anywhere near as easy. I am proud of how courageous I have been and love how freeing it is to do this.

Reason #3 for this post:
I'm going to attempt to start work on two of my 101 in 1001 goals today:

18. Drink nothing but water for a week.

and

19. Go 30 consecutive days without eating any fast food (including pizza) or junk food (candy, chocolate, chips, pop, etc.)

Wish me luck.




And as Devon, Moe, and Stewie would say... "Oh no, Brian! Ooooooooh nooooo! Brian!"

Day 6 - Something You Hope You Never Have To Do

Live without Devon.

Just thinking about it makes me feel lost and start to cry. Really... tearing up already and I haven't even typed a full sentence yet. The only reason I can think of that I would EVER have to live without Devon would be that he died. It's the only way we'd be permanently apart. And I just... don't think I would cope with that very well...

'Nuff Said.

Day 5 - Something You Hope To Do In Your Life

Everyone has hopes and dreams. What are mine? Some would say they are simple dreams. Easy to accomplish. But while they may seem inevitable because of the current road my life is on, I wouldn't say they're going to be easy.

Once I'm married, I want to have kids. I want to be a good mother to those kids. I want to be a good wife. To have the respect of my children even if that only comes once they're all grown up. I know that I fought with mom when I was younger, but now that we're all older we all realize just how right she was.

So I guess that's it. I hope to become a mother like my mother was. Becoming a mother seems inevitable. But whether or not I can compare to my mother... that's what I'm really hoping for.